i do not want to go to there

To where?  To this bacon:

Yeah, that’s colored bacon.  I saw it at bacontoday.com.  Did you know there’s a bacontoday.com?  Anyway, doesn’t that bacon look nasty?  And dude, colored bacon is not the preferred nomenclature.  African-American, please.  Also, there’s another joke I had for that spot, but I decided it was really just too inappropriate.  I know you may have thought yer old buddy i am whaleman had no limits but, well, now you know.  However, if you would really like to hear a terrifically funny but tremedously inappropriate joke, please feel free to email me at iamwhaleman@gmail.com.  I also accept phone calls and texts from people who have my number, but will not distribute it to every internet weirdo who shows up here.  This means you, Paula Poundstone!

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