Monthly Archives: February 2010

get your ok go on this afternoon

I don’t think I’ve made any secret of my okgo love, and this afternoon they’re gonna be busting out their new video.  Oh, and they’re doing it via a live stream at 4 PM PST.  That’s awesome.  In case you need to get caught up on what they’re doing, here are some behind-the-scenes videos for the video (I posted the first one t’other day, so here are the other three):

Are you psyched yet?  Y’oughter be.  Be sure to check it out.  4 PM Pacific.  Live stream on  Do it for yer old pal i am whaleman, since he’ll be at work when all this goodness is going down.  Stupid work.


robots…now with swears

Ok, so I haven’t been able to embed this video, but I know a person who created a fantastic video over at  Check it:

more on subs (sub morons?)


If you recall (or if you don’t), back in October yer old pal i am whaleman was ranting and raving about a Letter to the Editor regarding women on submarines (you can find it here if you like–or if you don’t like…that’s still where you can find it).  But the gist was that women should be on submarines because men can’t possibly be expected to control themselves in close quarters with women, lives and careers would be ruined, the terrorists would win.  Oh, and the children.

So today I crack the Opinions section, and guess what!  Another letter to the editor from a former Naval sub guy who doesn’t think women should be allowed on submarines!  What the hell, AZ Republic?  I mean, I know your editors are clearly imbeciles (especially the one who wrote about how bicyclists should find someplace to ride other than the bike paths because she wants to walk on the bike path with her headphones in and she can’t possibly be expected to keep the volume low enough so that she can hear people on bikes coming up behind her.  She really said that.  She was so scared.  Also, the children), but this is pretty lazy, I think.  But hey–more stuff for i am whaleman to make fun of, right?

So basically, Capt. Joe OldMan thinks it’s a terrible, terrible tragedy that the Navy has caved to the demands of advocacy groups and is going to allow women on submarines.  He makes two points, which I’ll address in reverse order because the first one is funnier (go for the big finish, i am whaleman always says):

Secondly, putting men and women together in very confined quarters for long periods of time submerged (up to two-plus months) is simply asking for trouble, both aboard the submarine and potentially on the home front.

Ok, so this was basically the same argument as Captain PoopyPants from back in October…women are wanton seductresses and men have to do what men have to do, which in this case means have sex with fellow seafolk.  Got that one covered.  But here’s argument number one:

First, submarines are extremely cramped; space is at a premium and every inch is used for needed equipment, weapons, sensors and supplies. To accommodate women, costly design modifications would be required and take space needed for higher priority items.

What in the holy hell does that mean?  I guess the Cap is either talking about, you know, all that “girl stuff” that girls can’t possible go anywhere without, like all their suitcases which will be full of clothes and shoes because you know women can’t pack lightly, amirite, fellas?  Plus they’re gonna have to put like eight more bathrooms on every sub because you know that women just take forever in there and they’re always doing their makeup and stuff and using all those “feminine napkins” and stuff like that but seriously why in the hell do they take so long in the bathroom it only takes me like 30 seconds once a fortnight!  But if it’s not that, he’s talking about all the extra storage space they’re gonna need for all those breasts.  Those giant, sweaty, heaving breasts.  Take out the sonar, boys!  Make room for Ds!  Or maybe…Damn the torpedoes!  Full Ds Ahead!  Yeah, that’s the one.

i am whaleman is good for you

As you can plainly see in this here video:

Don’t forget your i am whaleman, kids!

ok go tears it up

So I’ve done some writin’ on okgo lately, bitching about how you can’t embed their videos and all that kind of nonsense.  Well, guess who wrote an Op-Ed piece in the New York Times about just this issue…that’s right, okgo’s lead singer Damian Kulash.  I recommend reading it here, but just in case you’re lazy (and if you reserve part of your day to read the rantings of i am whaleman, I imagine there’s some lazy in you), I’ll summarize:  okgo thinks it’s bogus that they can’t do whatever they want with their videos.  They get the part about how signing to a record label means that things like that happen, but they don’t really get how it does anybody any good.  Because here’s the part that (I presume) really matters to EMI (their label):

The numbers are shocking: When EMI disabled the embedding feature, views of our treadmill video dropped 90 percent, from about 10,000 per day to just over 1,000. Our last royalty statement from the label, which covered six months of streams, shows a whopping $27.77 credit to our account.

Clearly the embedding restriction is bad news for our band, but is it worth it for EMI? The terms of YouTube’s deals with record companies aren’t public, but news reports say that the labels receive $.004 to $.008 per stream, so the most EMI could have grossed for the streams in question is a little over $5,400.

Uh-buuuuuuuuuh?!  Fifty-four hundred dollars?  That’s what EMI is so desperate to hold on to?  Sweet Jeebs…that’s ridiculous.  This is one of those, “well, I know that I’m not in the record industry, so I guess I don’t know how shit really works, but it can’t possibly be worth it to EMI to engender so much ill will over 5 large, can it?”  Maybe there’s a bidnessman out there who can explain it to me, but that just seems really, really stupid.

Anyhoo, it seems like okgo is getting just about tired of EMI’s nonsense, and word on the street (from a guy who knows a girl who knows a guy) has it that they’ve circumvented their label and secured outside funding for their newest video so that EMI will have no say in how the video is distributed.  Oh, and this video?  Well, it’s another video for “This Too Shall Pass” (the one with the marching band) and it sounds like it’s going to be fantastic.  You can check out some info about it here, and for you non-link-going-to-ers, it pretty much says that the video is going to be a single shot of a ridiculous Rube Goldberg device that will end up launching Damian across a warehouse.  Does it get any better than that?  I reckon not.  And here’s a video of them talking about getting the video set up.  It comes out March 1st.  See it right here at i am whaleman.  And all over the place, apparently.

oh, canada!

This is just silly, Canada.  What were you thinking?

(Saw this over at UniWatch.)

in case you have trouble getting it up on monday morning (in a work way)


I’ll be back in a bit with more Monday goodness.  Gotta go to a job interview (!) first.